The best of the dollar tree

On Suggestive Selling:

The cashier at the Dollar Tree didn’t even make eye contact when she asked,

“Can I interest you in a solar powered dancing elephant, today?”

Yet, I still felt compelled to pause and give a look of genuine deliberation before saying,

“No thank you. Not today.” -emphasis on “today.”

As if to imply that the issue here is one of timing.

Tomorrow you may be able to interest me, today 

On Suggestive Something:

The woman in line in front of me at the Dollar Tree was buying a hula hoop.

She told me that her wedding dress was 2 sizes too small and this was her plan to lose weight. She looked me over and asked my "secret." I said,

"Well, it doesn't involve a hula hoop."

Then the cashier went on a rant about Paula Dean's diabetes and looked at me to contribute my thoughts on fried chick

On Being Cheap:

After attending a reception, the host asked me if I could help with clean up by returning a keg on my way out of town.

Despite heroic efforts, that keg still had plenty of fun left in it. I was getting close to the store, but still trying to come up with a plan.

I pulled in to the liquor store’s plaza and noted a nearby Dollar Tree.

Perhaps I can find some containers to pour the beer 

On Economics:

The sales associate was stocking fake flowers, wearing a green polo and a name tag that said “Dollar Tree” when I witnessed a customer ask,

“Do you work here?”

No response, just a look. A look just waiting for the next question, which was:

“Do you sell skillets?”

 “No.”

A terse “No,” and back to stocking fake flowers- which actually had never paused.

But the customer continued to lay in wa

On Cats and Christmas Cheer:

Dollar Tree Cashier: 

"Did you find everything you needed tonight, sir?"

Me: 

"Pretty much…

Thanks…

I mean, I'm sure I'm not the first one to mention you're out of: Christmas Card -"From Cat." 

On Data Collection:

No matter what time I enter the Dollar Tree, I see the same lady working there, along with at least three other employees I have truly never seen before. 

Anywhere. 

Every time. One person I always see. Three people I've never seen.

The lady isn’t even the manager.

The Dollar Tree would appear to be under new management daily.

I find it to be a personal challenge to deliberately go