From "7 Habits of Highly Effective Slackers"
THe Launderer
"I spent one of the finite number of Saturday mornings my life will have in a Madison, WI, laundromat, watching Michael Moore’s clothes spin in a dryer while eating an Egg McMuffin in a 1970’s orange chair."
From "7 Habits of Highly Effective Slackers"
A Burger King Worldview
“So, I see here that you have a college degree. Are you thinking management?”
“No.
...No...I just want to be part of the team.”
“Well, we can start you off at $6 per hour…”
“Sounds good…”
“...We’ll see where it can move up to from there.”
“Whatever’s fine.
...Do I get a uniform?”
No… I have some on order.
From "7 Habits of Highly Effective Slackers"
THe too Weak notice
"I’d always been curious about carnival work.
I never allowed myself to dream that big.
“Gap year” wasn’t in the vernacular back then anyway."
The Giant Duck Paddle boat
" I don’t like paddle boats. I feel certain about that.
Why, just that day, my aversion toward that vehicle had become a topic of major consideration. "
Three Rules
I think if I really parse it down, I only have a few rules, myself:
1) The Flashlight on my Dresser is Not a Toy
2) No Glitter
3) No Plastic Bags on the Stairs
Big Papa was Keeping it real
On opposite courses metaphorically and literally, like two ships passing in the night, Big Papa coming out of Burger King, and Pat Downey going in.
From "If You Think That's Bad"
“We Have Room for ThreE"
As far back as I can remember, The Dukes of Hazzard have been influencing my life.
From "If You Think That's Bad"
Grasshopper
The "Sugar Shack." The restaurant we decided NOT to patronize after a day of exploration in Canada's Lake of the Woods.
From "If You Think That's Bad"
Remainder of One
The production assistant asked me to lift up my shirt so she could see my chest..."OK, That's enough. Write the word "Nightmare" on this card."
From "If You Think That's Bad"
Closure
"Closure can be a really powerful motivator. It can make a guy do crazy, sometimes, even silly, things," I remarked from my barstool perch, sipping an Alabama Slammer as best I could, arrayed in an egg sphere.
From "If You Think That's Bad"
The Music Stand
"There was the Hamm's one that twinkled as if the bear was standing in a real waterfall...But I always came back to the Miller High Life one. It somehow looked like fireworks exploding."